Welcoming New Beginnings
Biblically it is said that the number eight(8) signifies Resurrection and Regeneration. It is the number of a new beginning. Because 8 comes just after the number seven, which itself signifies an end to something, eight is associated with the beginning of a new era, or that of a new beginning.
I like to think of 2017 as the completion/end of many things in my life, and 2018 as the beginning of many things that will be new or be made new. 2017 was quite bittersweet for me. I made many ill-considered decisions, but also many good choices that I believe planted seeds for what will grow in 2018.
In 2017 I had a hard time letting go of alot of things. From relationships, bad habits, fear, and the like, I was comfortable continuing my life in the complacency of what was familiar to me. Letting go felt like I would lose out. Letting go felt like I was giving up on a part of me, it was weird. But, indeed I was. I was letting go of things that no longer served me, or quite frankly didn't serve me well in the first place. One of those things being FEAR.
Fear of what others would think of me. Fear of not feeling good enough as a daughter, partner, sister, or friend. Fear of not being pretty enough for the online world. Fear of not being a good enough expert in what I do and share with others. Fear that someone else in the world was already doing what I wanted to pursue, so what was the point? Fear that somehow everything I put my hand to would somehow eventually fall apart. I even feared, FEAR!
Gratefully with much prayer, fasting, and counsel with other strong women, mentors, and prayer warriors slowly I started to kick certain agreements I declared and accepted over my life right back to where they came from - hell. I learned through much confirmation that I wasn't given a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind.
I began to see how powerful I am: I began to gain a consistent following of individuals who were not only interested in what I did on Sincerely Shans, but who were also positively impacted —spiritually, mentally, and emotionally — by what I shared. I held my first Women Only Brunch where women way older than me expressed that they looked up to me for inspiration and strength for their own lives. I became stronger in the Word of Yahweh(God) DAILY(which honestly was hard for me in the past), finding strength as I fed on words that many times brought tears streaming down my face just because of the strength I felt through His Holy Spirit speaking to me. I surprised myself and many others of how I was able to function throughout my days of going through my own trials, but always affirmed that "I am able to do all things because of Yahweh(God) who is giving me strength."
I began to see how much love I have in me: From having an internal connection with people around me, even strangers, that were hurting or going through their own situations, and wanting so badly to help them. To choosing to continue to love others who deeply hurt and wounded me, knowing that I ought to give unto them not what they deserved, but what they needed — love. To seeing how sincerely excited I got about other people's accomplishments around me and always wanting to support if I could. To feeling the love of Yahweh(God) being manifested internally and externally in many different areas of my life. To learning that loving from a distance is also okay and doable, too.
I began to see how I have a sound mind: I learned that it wasn't (only) in the chamomile tea I drank, the yoga sessions I had taken, working out, or going for walks, but simply in the daily mediation of scripture that my mind truly became and was sound. Anxiety that I was struggling with, causing panic attacks and bad thoughts about myself were put under subjection through the discovery of who I was as a woman, as a child of a King, and just by acknowledging the good person I knew I was deep down and in general! I started to learn more of who I am, more of who people authentically loved — the witty, kind-hearted, super loving, supportive, sweet Shan. I began to cultivate more of that person without feeling like I was being too "prideful" of myself, or "intimidating" to others....(funny how when we are saying positive things about ourselves, especially out loud, we feel like we are being too prideful, but when we are speaking down on ourselves it sometimes feels alright or feels like we are just being "humble"! NO more of that! That's such an unfortunate misconception.)
I don't know what 2018 holds for me, but I do know that it is the start of something new. I've learned and applied so much. I anticipate all this year has to offer for me in all dimensions of my life, as well as what it has to offer for others. I hope to share my stories, yours, and others on Sincerely Shans.
Join me on this journey of new beginnings. I'm sold on the fact that of the great I've already seen GREATER is coming.